"Ye," said Tsunku; "Let there be Dot Bikini" ...And It Was Bad

I typed this out as I watched the PV, as such it is read as if I am reacting right this moment, rather than relying my thoughts as a whole.

And thus a new evil has been brought unto this world. More awful than plague and pestilence...
Just kidding, but you have to admit, it was pretty mediocre for a Hello!Project release.



When it comes to Hello!Project, I don't watch a PV preview, or listen to a Radio Rip, I only look at the profile pictures to see the outfits. So you can guess that I am waiting every single day for H!P release and am naturally excited to see that a new video has been posted.

Well, when I opened up my Chrome Browser and typed in Youtube and saw that S/mileage Channel had updated with 'Dot Bikini' you can guess I was one happy Wota. Clicking the link, waiting with baited breath as the opening sequence plays out, I get a feeling that this will be good - because all of S/mileage's PVs have been wonderful so far.

The very beginning was fine, a quite pretty shot of Dawa in a Polka dotted shawl listening to the sound of the ocean with a conch shell, the lighting was bright, beautiful, everything a summers day should be . Relaxing, lovely.
The music starts, calm, gentle, not at all what I expect from a summer based song, but I'm liking it. The shot changes to show all of the girls wearing the white and black shawls, they slowly turn to face the camera and slide their hands up their slender frames, and pry apart the thin cloth, letting it slip down their shoulders revealing a rather plain, albeit 'dotty' bikini. The camera changes to a close up shot with Meimi in the front, she is as charming as ever with her crooked teeth. So adorable.
Out of nowhere, the beautiful music is replaced with whistle blowing and and random banging of drums, quite a strange contrast, but I suppose S/mileage is known for songs that don't follow regular patterns. I can still enjoy this, I mean, it's not like they are going to do an instrumental overload and throw in any instrument they can find, right?

[Commence Musical Gangbang]

...Aparently, I am mistaken.

Okay, so for whatever reason, the people that make the instrumentals decided what the heck, let's throw several different synth tunes together with different beats, timing and tempo and then mash it up into a repetetive torture medley. Maybe they were hoping for something. Y'know, fresh and cool - a perfect summer beat. The only problem with their sudden desire to experiment is that it has left them with something that can only be described as painful. They should have scrapped it 40 seconds in, and tried something more safe. Possibly try a ballad? Hey, why not give Engrish rap a shot, maybe Rina and Kana could gain some much needed limelight with a rap segment. If it failed as much as this at least it would get a laugh or two.

After slowly getting used to this disaster of an instrumental, I take a good look at the dance, the oddly shaped movements of their arms is... Quirky. It's not completely horrible, I mean, I'm fine with it, it's quite funny - something a child would enjoy watching.
But, it doesn't stay 'fine', they don't escalate to 'good' status either.
The dancing, oh good lord the dancing. WHY?? They aren't even in synch with each other. I'm keep replaying and trying to find any semblance of synchronization, but it just isn't happening, why does Akari keep dropping to the floor, does her leg hurt?

 Is she a lame duckling? 

 The PV (and the credibility of S/mileage) just keeps falling deeper and deeper into the pit of despair.

Why is it an abomination so early on? Seriously, I freaking LOVE S/mileage, this song is just filling me with rage right now, GAH, I hope it gets better the more I listen to it. Please, I need some redeeming qualities here. Help a wota out. Give me something to love. I'm begging you.

The lyrics start, they are catchy, cute, everything I love in S/mileage. The close up shots are so freaking adorable.

Rina is looking especially pretty in her close up. 

In fact, they all are. Loving the group close up, their interactions with the camera are wonderful, beckoning the viewer forward, Akari taking center with her rather epic blue fedora. Looking gangster.
Her little hand gesture accompanied by a suggestive wink is cheeky, lovable.
Akari is easily the favourite in the single so far. The others need to up their game to top her.

I'm feeling pretty good about the PV right now, aside from the instrumental from hell, and that one part of the dance where alcoholism is getting to Akari, this is going swimmingly.

The chorus starts, it's repetetive, catchy, and Dawas' hips are hypnotic, she suits the dance well, she shakes them as if Latin dances were made for her. UFA should really note this and bring out a Salsa-esque PV for the next S/mileage single. And only have one thing in focus. Their hips. I'm sure it'll be amazing for all the Lolicon. The perverts will love it.

Dawas' hips are saving this single.

Several cute drawings, catchy beats, over-sized sunglasses, excitable jumping on alternate legs, more drunken antics, and some pretty poses later, Dot Bikini slows down a bit. The instrumental becomes delightful, the repetetive chorus starts up again with Kanon and Dawa soloing it, their voices are charming, normally I find the high pitch of their voices (especially Dawas') to be annoying, but perhaps the softness made them  sweeter, more pleasant. It sounds nice, but since the chorus has meaningless lyrics it seems a bit silly and pointless. Maybe if the background music sounded like this I would have enjoyed it much more in the beginning.

The chorus gets back to being cheerful and chirpy and... Oh God, I think I'm enjoying it. It's so tacky it's becoming good. Even the once annoying sythesizer is becoming bearable. The repeating 'chu moku' has some appeal too.

And once again, H!P have drawn me into liking a single I was sure I would hate... Damn it all.

Summary:

So overall, you could call the PV a moderate success, it started very badly for me, I abhorred the instrumental, I wanted to damn it to hell, the dancing, at some points was utterly terrible - but that was only the "what the heck am I meant to be doing? Where is the choreographer?" moments.

Seriously. Also, Akari has no face.

Although I began the PV with all intentions facing hatred, it became infuriatingly catchy, the song really gets stuck in your head, even now as I'm typing I'm hearing the continuous call of 'chu moku~'. Dawa is repeatedly shaking her hips in a mesmerizing manner. I wouldn't be able to listen to this song all day, it would get too annoying. But I can guarantee that it will be listened to again several times over the next few days.
The PV in itself is very charming, the close up shots with the girls all grouped together have to be my favourite parts, the way they interact with each other is cute, playful. I love the slightly cluttered room that the danceshot takes place in, it's like they just partied (with lots of drinking - Akari, I'm looking at you).

'Dot Bikini'  Grade B-

Edit: Here's the PV